Undersize Me

I swear I do this every year.

I make a New Year’s Resolution to lose some weight. Then, I follow it up with something witty, like “I have to be bald, but there’s no reason I have to be fat, too.”

Turning a phrase has never been much of an issue for me. It’s turning down those cheeseburgers that keeps my waistline in Pillsbury Dough boy mode.

But this year, there’s a plan.

We finally got a hold of a Wii Fit, and though I’m told that the U.S. version is a bit kinder than its Japanese counterpart, it was still an eye-opening experience.

Turns out that not only am I fat, but the little plastic board that weighs me says that I’m obese.

It also suggests that I am nearly 70 pounds overweight. It wants me to weigh 12 pounds less, at age 32, than I did as a a high school senior.

And I was a skinny little runt back wearing size 28 pants back then.

So, with the prospect of my digital Wii blowing up like those flashbacks of Monica on “Friends,” I started my workout program today with 20 minutes on the squeaky elliptical machine that’s been collecting dust in our living room for the last eight months or so.

Good times.

The second part of the plan is what I like to call the reverse Spurlock. You might remember Morgan Spurlock’s documentary, “Super Size Me.”

To sum it up, he gained almost 25 pounds in one month eating nothing but McDonald’s food.

Now, I like McDonald’s as much as the next guy, but that’s just plain gross.

The plan is, for one month, I’m going to attempt something I doubt I’ve ever done since I started eating solid foods back in the late 70s.

I’m going to go for one month without eating anything from a fast food restaurant.

It’s not going to be easy. I drive by six on my way to work and will be exposed to dozens more I as travel around Fayetteville (where I work) and Raleigh (where I end up a lot).

So, until Feb. 5, it’s no McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Hardee’s, Taco Bell, KFC, Burger King, Arby’s or Five Guys.

My wife and I agreed that Subway, with it’s low fat sandwich options, doesn’t count as a fast food place.

As I type this, my stomach is already in full revolt, as if saying, “dude, are you high? Where’s my cheeseburger?”

In conjunction with this experiement, I’m going to be doing Weight Watchers, a prorgam that I enjoy and have used to previous success.

Wish me luck.

I’m going to need it.


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3 Responses to “Undersize Me”

  1. Youth Sports » Blog Archive » News and notes Says:

    […] it out here. Filed under: […]

  2. smilesbysamdotnet Says:

    Congrats! Fast food is such a killer. My food issue is ice cream, I havent had any since the middle of December and wont have any until Feb…..so I feel your “pain” ~ it will all be worth it. YOU CAN DO THIS! Smile,


  3. run4change Says:

    Hey you can do it man. I lost 130 lbs and I never dreamed that I could have done that. I think that this year you will do it.

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