Online and in too deep?

One of my favorite sayings is if you give me an Internet connection and 30 minutes, I can find out just about anything.

It didn’t take nearly that long to learn about my opponent in the Western Wake Tennis Association Summer Adult Tournament this weekend.

But first, let’s set the stage.

I’ve always wanted to join the United States Tennis Association. So, for Father’s Day, my lovely wife signed me up. I wanted to use the USTA membership to get into a league somewhere, but I decided to play in a tournament to, you know, actually play some tennis.

Apparently, Four Oaks is not much of a tennis town. Plenty of cows, though.

Anyway, I signed up for the Men’s Open draw (a big mistake according to my boss, who is an outstanding player.)

His words: “don’t. do. it.”

The entry fee was paid, however, so I’m in it now.

My opponent in Cary on Saturday morning will be a young man named Cody.

Who’s Cody? According to a Google search, he’s part of the winningest doubles team in the history of North Wilkes High School. That same search turned up the fact that he and his doubles partner won the State 2-A doubles crown this spring.

A youtube clip on him and his teammate shows me that he’s well-spoken, a little taller than me, right-handed and he favors what looks like an extreme Western grip on his forehand.

All of this makes me nervous, especially in light of a few facts:

1. I’ve been too busy working to pick up a racket this week.
2. He’s 14 years younger than me.
3. He had a way better high school career than I did.
4. Did I mention I’m old?

His myspace page revealed that he’s 18, on his way to Carolina to study Political Science and very much cares for his girlfriend.

If it matters, his mood is “quixotic,” which – after a quick run to the dictionary – means “foolishly impractical especially in the pursuit of ideals; especially: marked by rash lofty romantic ideas or extravagantly chivalrous action.”

Oh, as in Don Quixote. I get it now.

My wife said I was stalking him. I call it research.

I’m a reporter. I need data.

The only thing that gives me hope is the fact that he’s a Christian.

That means he’s familiar with the concept of mercy…


5 Responses to “Online and in too deep?”

  1. Hanks Says:

    Dude, fantastic post.

    And on top of that, he’s from my alma mater: North Wilkes High School. Good to know we Vikings still strike fear in the hearts of the godless.

  2. Blogging With Bryan C. Hanks : Kinston Free Press Says:

    […] I’m a shill stalker mouthpiece devoted fan of Randy Capps — and you’d be correct. His latest offering on his blog is another great piece, this time about the Internet and how easy it is to find out […]

  3. John Says:

    Over from Hanks side of the street.

    Don’t worry Capps- Old age and treachery overcome youth and skill everytime.

  4. randycapps Says:

    I do have both in ample supply…

  5. John Says:

    My personal motto is- Gettin’ old ain’t for sissies.

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