Online and in too deep?

One of my favorite sayings is if you give me an Internet connection and 30 minutes, I can find out just about anything.

It didn’t take nearly that long to learn about my opponent in the Western Wake Tennis Association Summer Adult Tournament this weekend.

But first, let’s set the stage.

I’ve always wanted to join the United States Tennis Association. So, for Father’s Day, my lovely wife signed me up. I wanted to use the USTA membership to get into a league somewhere, but I decided to play in a tournament to, you know, actually play some tennis.

Apparently, Four Oaks is not much of a tennis town. Plenty of cows, though.

Anyway, I signed up for the Men’s Open draw (a big mistake according to my boss, who is an outstanding player.)

His words: “don’t. do. it.”

The entry fee was paid, however, so I’m in it now.

My opponent in Cary on Saturday morning will be a young man named Cody.

Who’s Cody? According to a Google search, he’s part of the winningest doubles team in the history of North Wilkes High School. That same search turned up the fact that he and his doubles partner won the State 2-A doubles crown this spring.

A youtube clip on him and his teammate shows me that he’s well-spoken, a little taller than me, right-handed and he favors what looks like an extreme Western grip on his forehand.

All of this makes me nervous, especially in light of a few facts:

1. I’ve been too busy working to pick up a racket this week.
2. He’s 14 years younger than me.
3. He had a way better high school career than I did.
4. Did I mention I’m old?

His myspace page revealed that he’s 18, on his way to Carolina to study Political Science and very much cares for his girlfriend.

If it matters, his mood is “quixotic,” which - after a quick run to the dictionary - means “foolishly impractical especially in the pursuit of ideals; especially: marked by rash lofty romantic ideas or extravagantly chivalrous action.”

Oh, as in Don Quixote. I get it now.

My wife said I was stalking him. I call it research.

I’m a reporter. I need data.

The only thing that gives me hope is the fact that he’s a Christian.

That means he’s familiar with the concept of mercy…

Who will it be?

Today’s a big day for American soccer fans, though you wouldn’t know it based on national media coverage.

So consider this post one of the few out there that, for today at least, is Brett Favre free.

The U.S. Olympic soccer team will be announced today, leaving lots of speculation as to just which players will make up the roster. It’s worth noting that, aside from three overage players that teams are allowed to bring, this is an under-23 tournament. (FIFA wanted to make sure it didn’t compete with the World Cup.)

And with CONCACAF qualifying for the aforementioned World Cup getting under way at about the same time the Olympic competition will run, big names like Landon Donovan and DeMarcus Beasley won’t be in China for the games.

Ives Galarcep, ESPN soccer writer and founder of Soccer By Ives (an awesome Web site), took his shot at the squad here.

My guess is that he’s right. Personally, I’d like to see Guzan head on over to Aston Villa to try to lock down a starting gig in the Premiership. That way, someone like Marcus Hahnemann (Reading) or even Kasey Keller could stand between the pipes for the U.S.

With the teams that Brazil and Argentina are sending to the games, we’re likely playing for the bronze medal anyway. But at least it will be a fun ride.

Around the horn

There’s a lot going on today, so let’s get out the shotgun and hit it all:

1. Josh Hamilton is an unbelievable story. Not because he kicked a drug and alcohol habit. Not because he’s turned his life around and talks to kids about making good choices. But because he hit bomb after bomb last night in Yankee Stadium and had 50,000 New Yorkers chanting his name.

Justin Morneau actually won the derby, but 10 years from now, people will swear it was Hamilton.

2. Brett Favre appeared on “On the Record with Greta Van Susteren” last night to get a few things off his chest.

I guess Chris Berman was busy butchering the home run derby.

I sort of see both sides here. I think Favre should be allowed to change his mind about retiring. I mean, other than Barry Sanders and Jim Brown, who has ever walked away with anything left in the tank and actually stayed gone?

But I get the Packers moving on. They’re paying Aaron Rodgers starter money. They drafted a couple of quarterbacks. They’re turning the page. Great. I get it.

Trade the guy. Let’s move along already.

3. Rick Reilly on TV makes me physically ill. I mean, he isn’t bad. But the fact that he’s on set means that the greatest living sports columnist is spending time as a talking head instead of banging away at a keyboard.

Maybe he’s tired of writing award-winning columns. But I’m not tired of reading them.

I’m a little concerned about where the business is headed. Reilly and Steve Rushin are out at Sports Illustrated, Mitch Albom makes up columns in between writing good books, Jason Whitlock has finally gone mental and Jim Murray is dead.

Where exactly can I go to read a decent sports column?

4. Manchester City has offered Barcalona $51 million for the services of Ronaldinho, the oft-injured, slightly out-of-shape and seemingly disinterested Brazilian standout.

That’s a lot of coin for a guy that was nailed to the bench for much of last season. My guess is that he’ll end up at AC Milan. It’s a nicer city and a team with better players.

5. There’s a copy of NCAA Football 2009 sitting out in my car that I can’t wait to get home and play. It’s going to be awesome.

Must-miss ads

Before I venture over to Fort Bragg for my visit to an ice skating rink, I need to get a few things off my chest.

There are a lot of commercials out there that annoy me to no end.

Let’s get bsuy:

1. The Scooter Store: They sell those Jazzy Power Chairs to senior citizens who have trouble getting around. That’s fine. Wonderful, even. But Wilford Brimley suggesting that people can get one “at little or no cost” steams me.

They bill Medicaid, who uses my money to buy the chairs. Just say that. At least then it’s honest.

2. Any credit counciling service: “Do you have bad credit? Are you in too deep with credit cards, looking for a way out? It’s not your fault.”

Yeah, it really is.

Don’t sugarcoat it for people. Try this one:

“If you’re crazy enough to run up thousands of dollars in credit cards bills by going out and buying 10 iPhones, then we can help you.”

Most people have had trouble with credit cards. I know I have. But don’t lie to folks. If you’re in too deep, you’re probably at least partially to blame.

3. Sell your timeshare: I can’t figure this out. If you own a timeshare, why would you sell it? Those things are cash cows.

Don’t think so? Then why is Timeshares Only spending so much money in ad revenue trying to buy yours?

4. J.G. Wentworth: These commercials kill me. Apparently, people receiving long-term settlements can call this company to get a lump sum for what I’m sure is a huge fee. People are crazy for doing that, but that’s not the annoying part.

The next time you see one of those commercials, count the number of times someone says “cash” or “money.” It’s like sitting through Economics in high school - everything repeated 20 times so everyone can pass.

5. Viagra: Seriously? We have to sing songs about erectile dysfunction now?

If anything, that’s probably more of a cause than a cure.

Long live rock and roll

Hey, it’s a blog exclusive.

This will appear in next week’s edition of “Fort Bragg Life.” My friends in Kinston would be interested to learn that Bryan Hanks is the “friend” referenced in the column…

I’ve played video games for as long as I can remember.

I had an Atari, which means I honed my skills on classics like “Pitfall,” “River Raid” and “Combat.”

I’ve since progressed through the Nintendo, Super Nintendo and all three versions of the PlayStation.

My wife has played some video games, citing a fondess for the Nintendo standard “Legend of Zelda.”

Other than a brief spell of playing “Final Fantasy VII,” she was pretty much retired from the world of gaming until we discovered “Guitar Hero III Legends of Rock” at a friend’s house in Kinston last week.

If you aren’t familiar, it’s a game (available on the PlayStation, XBox or the Wii) that features guitars for controllers. The basic premise is to, well, rock your way through the game.

I would have bet money that I, a man who has played only sports or role-playing games for the past decade or so, wouldn’t like it.

I would have taken that same amount of money and tripled it on a wager that my wife, a career woman, part-time student and full-time mother, wouldn’t like it either.

Let’s just say that it’s fortunate for me that gambling isn’t legal.

It’s surprisingly addictive.

I started off slowly, but my years of wielding a game controller paid off as I was ripping chords with the best of them.

My wife got so into it that she put on her glasses — a sure sign of intensity.

From “Slow Ride” to “Even Flow,” we took on ballad after ballad. We took turns playing with our buddy, who then insisted that we play together.

It was strange. Usually, I play video games by myself when my wife and son are sleeping.

Now, we were playing together. It was cool.

But the trip ended, and I thought that we’d slip back into our usual routine — me hammering away at “NCAA Football” or “Civilization Revolution” in the coming weeks while she got on with her normal life of ignoring the PS3 that sits on our entertainment center.

Instead, we ended up in Best Buy on Sunday, shopping for all the tools we’d need to become rockers at home.

A bit of back story seems relevant here. My wife is a wonderful woman. But she is one of the most frugal people standing in shoe leather.

Yet she stood smiling as we shelled out more than $160 for the game and two guitars.

We took it home and have played it every night since.

We’ve been strumming away so often that we’ve already played through every song in the career mode and now we’re working on the bonus songs.

I guess nothing brings a family together like a little rock and roll.

Movers and shakers

Before I run off to do, gulp, news reporting, I thought I’d share my list of five teams that need to make a move before baseball’s July 31 trading deadline.

5. St. Louis Cardinals - After the Brewers went out and got CC Sabathia and the Cubs traded for Rich Harden and Chad Gaudin, the Cards suddenly find themselves as the third-best team (on paper) in the N.L. Central.

Tony LaRussa’s club sits in second at the moment, 4.5 games behind the Cubbies and a half-game better than Milwaukee. Pitching would help, as the Cards are a bit wounded in the rotation with Adam Wainright and Mark Mulder ailing and a bit shaky in the pen - Ryan Franklin is serving as the closer.

Potential targets - Brian Fuentes (Colorado), Erik Bedard and J.J. Putz (Seattle)

4. Texas Rangers - Not many folks had this team pegged to be over .500 in mid-July, but thanks to a strong offense and decent pitching, the Rangers are 48-44 and just 6.5 games back of the first-place Angels.

I know Arlington is not exactly a pitcher’s paradise, but can you imagine how could Texas could be if they had a pitcher that had an ERA under 4.20? With this offense and a little pitching help, this team could make a run.

Potential targets - Bedard (Seattle), Joe Blanton (A’s), A.J. Burnett (Toronto) or Paul Byrd (Cleveland)

3. Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim - Is it me, or has this team needed a bat for about the last five years?

They’ve got good starting pitchers, a great bullpen and an ordinary offense. Time to come off some of those hot prospects in AAA and AA and get a stick.

Potential targets - Matt Holiday (Colorado), Jason Bay and Xavier Nady (Pittsburgh) or Adam Dunn (Cincinnati)

2. Tampa Bay Rays - Raise your hand if you picked the Rays to be in first place in the A.L. East on July 10? Anyone? Bueller?

This is a great story, but it isn’t going to fly without some help in the pen, or perhaps even another bat.

Potential targets - Fuentes, Damaso Marte (Pittsburgh), Jon Rauch (Washington), Raul Ibanez (Seattle) or Holiday

1. New York Yankees - The Bronx Bombers are in real danger of missing the postseason for the first time since the Clinton administration (1994).

They need some pitching help. Badly. An outfield bat wouldn’t hurt, either. It will be interesting to see if Brian Cashman wants to trade his young prospects to try to stay with the Rays and Red Sox. I’m guessing he doesn’t want to, but he’ll get over-ruled by upper management.

Potential targets - Blanton, Byrd, Bedard, Fuentes, Holiday, Bay, Dunn and Nady

Whoa, there…

Maybe you’ve heard of Brandon Jennings, the Arizona basketball recruit that’s taking his game to Europe for a year instead of spending a NBA-mandated year in college.

Jason Whitlock, the often controversial columnist for the Kansas City Star and, apparently, Fox Sports, offers his take on the story here.

And, as usual, I don’t agree with all of it. But it does inspire thought and discussion, as all good commentaries should.

This paragraph in particular bugs me:

“The NCAA needs to be blown up. It pimps mostly black basketball and football players to provide welfare to sports played by mostly white athletes. In exchange, the football and basketball players get a half-baked shot at an education they’re not prepared for upon arrival and a long-shot audition for pro scouts.”

He goes on to suggest that “college basketball and football players are entertainer-athletes, not student-athletes. Bring them on campus, pay them, free them of academic responsibility and let them entertain students, alums, boosters and fans while auditioning for a pro career.”

To which I offer this retort.

ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!

First of all, let’s discuss the notion that black football and basketball players provide welfare to sports played by mostly white athletes. How is this any less racist than Don Imus running down Rutgers basketball players for being “nappy-headed hoes?”

I played tennis in college. It had nothing to do with what was going on over at the basketball court of football field. Colleges and universities are required by federal law to field men and women’s sports in equal supply. So UNC has no choice but to fund women’s soccer. Ty Lawson isn’t footing that bill.

And as for the “in exchange, the football and basketball players get a half-baked shot at an education they’re not prepared for upon arrival and a long-shot audition for pro scouts” part, who’s fault is that, Jason?

Are you laying that at the feet of the NCAA? Where is the personal responsibility? Are you telling me that kids like Brandon Jennings have no control over how prepared for college they might be? You’re kidding, right? You have to be.

Open a book. Stay awake in class. Something.

And the notion of relieving football and basketball players of their academic responsibilities is just plain silly. A college education is a valuable gift. I know. Ten years after I got my degree, I’m still playing for it.

I guess I can just send that bill to a football player, though. Right, Jason?

Now, if you’re asking me if basketball players should be allowed to turn pro out of high school, the answer is absolutely yes. I think that it’s a policy contrived by the NBA and NCAA that smacks of racism. It’s a joke that Derrick Rose and O.J. Mayo had to spend a year in college. I don’t know either of them, but I don’t think getting an ‘A’ in English was at the top of their to-do list.

Change the rule for the NBA. Leave it alone for the NFL. Teenagers have no place in the NFL. With a few exceptions, they’re not ready for the physical demands of pro football.

I’ve got no problem with offering student-athletes a piece of the pie in terms of a stipend or some other financial consideration. But turning them into “entertainers” is insulting to anyone who goes to that university intent on learning something.

I’d rather have the games played at a lower level if those are the conditions.

But I’m glad Brandon Jennings has the chance to go to Europe and make a little coin before heading to the NBA. If he doesn’t want to (or can’t) go to college, I don’t want him there. Good for him. I hope others follow him across the pond for that extra year. Perhaps they’ll be more NBA-ready when they return.

But honestly, I expected better out of Mr. Whitlock, a man’s whose work I’ve always enjoyed and respected.

I can agree with him that the system is rigged.

But ripping the student out of “student-athlete” isn’t the answer.

Knowing when to fold ‘em

I love playing poker, in fact, I cleaned up at a game recently. But there are several groups of people I would never share a table with.

I’m not playing cards with anyone who has the same first name as a city or state and I won’t deal in anybody carrying a knife or gun.

And, after Tuesday, I’m not sitting down with Oakland A’s general manager Billy Beane, either.

Beane dealt Rich Harden and Chad Gaudin to the Cubs for Sean Gallagher, Matt Murton, Eric Patterson and minor leaguer Josh Donaldson.

Naturally, Cub fans are geeked to add a guy that most scouts agree has the best pure stuff in the big leagues. And Gaudin can start or pitch out of the bullpen as well.

But here’s the thing: Rich Harden is the most injury-prone hurler this side of Mark Prior.

He’s made 13 starts this year, but combined for only 16 in 2006 and 2007. He did make 31 starts in 2004, and it was in that campaign that he reached his career-high win total of 11 games.

But he’s going to have to stay healthy down the stretch, and into next year (he’s signed through 2009) for this to be a good deal for the Cubbies.

Because they gave up a lot.

Murton is 26 and is a career .294 hitter with 28 homers and 104 RBI in 870 career at-bats. Patterson is 25 and is considered one of the better prospects around and Gallagher is only 22 and has already made 20 maor league starts. He’s 3-4 with a 4.45 ERA this season. The sky is the limit for him.

Donaldson is a project, but Oakland has made starters out of guys like him in the past.

Unless Harden bucks his injury history and pitches the Cubs to postseason glory, I say the A’s came out ahead on this deal.

The end of an era?

Time is a hunter, quietly and consistently stalking us. It waits for no man.

It’s magnified in tennis, like no other sport.

Roger Federer is just a month or so shy of his 27th birthday, which is well past the normal tennis player’s prime. He lost to Rafael Nadal, the next No. 1 player in the world, 6–4, 6–4, 6–7(5), 6–7(8), 9–7 at Wimbledon Sunday in a match described by some as the best ever.

It makes me wonder. Is this the latest act of a fierce rivalry between the Swiss man and Spainard, or is it the beginning of the end for Federer, the current No. 1 and winner of a dozen Grand Slam titles?

The cracks are showing this year for Federer. He was bounced out of the Australian Open by the eventual winner, Novak Djokovic, 7–5, 6–3, 7–6(5). He’s won two titles this year, but one of those came when Nikolay Davydenko retired in a clay court event in Portugal and the other came against a watered-down field on grass in Halle, Germany.

If history is any judge, the end is near.

Bjorn Borg was king of the tennis world in 1981. The Swede won the French Open before losing to John McEnroe at both Wimbledon and the U.S. Open. He left the court at the Open before the award ceremony and was never the same.

He played in one tournament in 1982 and retired from the sport at the tender age of, you guessed it, 26.

Sure, you get the occassional player having success in his 30s. Jimmy Connors, Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras all won Grand Slam titles north of their 30th birthday. But that’s the exception.

To be the No. 1 player in the world, it helps to be young. In the last 20 years, only Sampras (27), Agassi (29) and Ivan Lendl (27) finished the year in the top spot past the age of 26.

I play tennis, and I grew up a huge Sampras fan. That said, I think Federer is the greatest player the game has ever known.

But his time is running out. He might make a run in New York at the Open, as Nadal doesn’t have a good track record there. Djokovic and Andy Roddick (if he can bounce back from what’s been a horrid year so far) will be tough to beat at Flushing Meadows.

But if he doesn’t get his 13th Grand Slam title this summer, I doubt it will ever happen.

Too much sand is gone from the hourglass…

Getting back to work

Three-day weekends are fun, but the return to work on the Monday morning is always a challenge.

But I’m battling through it. And so should you.

Let’s get busy…

1. Cynthia Rodriguez is filing for divorce from her husband, Alex Rodriguez.

Apparently, depending on which gossip report you read, he’s either a cheater or a religous zealot. Or both. Who knows.

One thing that seems certain is that his bank account is likely to lose a few zeros.

He’s got two kids, including a newborn daughter, so this isn’t a funny story. In fact, I’m not sure why this is a story at all.

2. Brett Favre? Will he stay or will he go? My gut instinct is that he’s coming back. The real question is will it be in Green Bay or some other locale?

I’m guessing he winds up someplace else, as the Packer brass seems all too eager to move on.

Carolina? Chicago? Stay tuned…

3. Rafael Nadal ended Roger Federer’s title streak at Wimbledon Sunday in a match that’s being hailed by some as the “best ever.” I’d weigh in, but I didn’t see it. I was driving.

Sigh.

Apparently, a replay is set for tonight at 7 on ESPN Classic. Good times.

4. C.C. Sabathia looks to be on his way to Milwaukee for what amounts to a four-month rental. The reigning Cy Young winner in the American League will add punch to the top of the Brewers rotation for the rest of 2008 before cashing in his right to be a free agent this winter.

The jewel of the group of prospects heading to Cleveland is outfielder Matt LaPorta. He’s hitting .288 with 20 homers and 66 RBI at AA Huntsville. He projects as a big-time power hitter, and he’s only 23.